Funeral Planning

Some people may find it rather morose to think about planning a funeral, especially when a loved one is suffering with end-stage cancer, but the fact remains that it is a task that must be accomplished and most families, including those dealing with a mesothelioma diagnosis, find it easier and ultimately less stressful to plan ahead.

Who Should Be Involved?

Everyone has a different opinion about funerals. Some find them unbearable while others view them as a celebration of life and plan them accordingly. Similarly, some individuals want to be involved with the planning of their own funeral while others simply don’t want to talk about it at all. Hence, whether or not the cancer patient is involved in planning his or her funeral will be up to that particular patient and how they view their death.

However, you’ll never know the patient’s feelings on this subject unless you ask. If you find that the cancer victim wants to be part of the planning, it may be necessary to nail down the details while he or she is still able to express their wishes. This might be before the asbestos cancer patient enters hospice care when they are still able to think clearly, unhindered by pain medications, and when they can be specific about their likes and dislikes. Don’t be afraid to ask if the patient doesn’t bring up the subject. If they don’t wish to be involved, simply don’t bring it up again and plan to organize the funeral on your own with help from other family members and friends.

Things to Consider

Funerals can get complicated and planning them can be time consuming. They can also be quite costly, so it’s necessary to consider expenses while considering the funeral plans.

By the time you’re ready to put the funeral together, whether it is while the individual is still living or after they have passed, you’ll probably know whether they wish to be buried or cremated. This will allow you to make the proper preliminary arrangements such as choosing a funeral home or cremation company and securing a gravesite.

Other issues to consider will be the location of any religious or non-religious “services” to which people will be invited. If the deceased has a house of worship to which he or she belongs, schedule a time to meet with that person’s spiritual leader. If the cancer patient is planning the funeral, suggest they do the same while they are still able to. This will allow them to not only make funeral arrangements but might also open up the opportunity for them to discuss the end of their life as it pertains to their religious beliefs.

Think about who will be involved in the funeral. Again, if an individual has an interest in the planning of his or her own funeral, ask who they want the pall bearers to be, who should sing at his service, who should deliver the eulogy, and if they would like a post-funeral gathering be held for friends and family. Remember to write down all the details and to respect the wishes of the soon-to-be-deceased, even if you don’t happen to agree with their choices.

If you are planning a funeral after the loved one has passed on, take some time to collect your thoughts and write down your own plan before heading out to make arrangements. Planning a funeral immediately after the death of a loved one can result in overspending due to emotional reactions. Encourage family members to do the planning together in order to support one another through the process. You’ll find that while you may not always agree, the process will be easier when sharing it with someone.

Because pleural mesothelioma is a quick-spreading cancer that is often not diagnosed until it is quite advanced, the opportunity to plan for a funeral may be limited. If it’s difficult for you to speak honestly with the mesothelioma patient about their prognosis and about end-of-life plans, enlist the help of a counselor who is well-versed in such topics. You may find that a simple discussion with a counselor about funeral plans and other issues that an end-stage mesothelioma patient encounters will provide some peace of mind for the patient as they face the future and may allow them to open up the lines of communication with you as well.